Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Timing is Everything


As I mentioned in my last post here on 4G, I had recently been drawn in again to the story of the life of Joseph. We were reading it as a family and we just finally finished it. I have never looked at his life so thoroughly and perceptively.  This time I think I've learned enough from Joseph to write an entire book about it...maybe one day. ;-)

Over my next few posts I'll be sharing some of the lessons I've learned from Joseph.  Here's the first and probably most important: Timing is everything!

If you're anything like me you hate waiting. I am about as impatient as they come. I hate standing in long lines. Whether it's at the grocery store, a church potluck, or at the DMV, I hate lines. I always park near the garden section at Wal-Mart because there's never a line at the garden section. And they can weigh your fruits and veggies just like they do in the express lane. In and out. No lines. No waiting. Problem is I often approach the more weightier matters of my life in the same manner; trying to find the quickest and easiest way out. In life though, there is often no easy way out. And there may not be a line, but by some strange set of circumstances, you will still end up having to wait.

When you look at Joseph's life, at each of the major stages, there was a waiting period. When was just a teenager and received those dreams from God, that was an invitation to wait to see what the Lord was going to do in his life. But like the clueless little teen, he brags and blabs about it to his brothers (who already despise him for his father's favoritism). This is what landed him in a pit. There's a lesson there somewhere. When he goes to Potiphar's house he must wait and endure the injustice of slave life even though his father is a rich nobleman. Then, in prison, he must wait more than two years after Pharoah's taste-tester even remembers that he owes Joseph a favor. And even in the palace, the seven year of plenty and the seven years of famine are a waiting game in their own right.

Timing is everything though. See at every juncture he must wait. But at every juncture God's timing is impeccable. When Joseph is thrown into that pit what were the odds that a caravan of merchants would be passing by on that very same day, at that very hour? And I'm not sure how long he had been working for Potiphar, but isn't it ironic that he goes to prison at the same time as the very guys who would be his ticket out?  Speaking of getting out, what if Pharoah's taste-tester had told him about Joseph as soon as he got out? Would they have remembered to ask for Joseph when Pharoah had his epic dreams two years later? Would Joseph have even stayed in Egypt that long?

To me it's all very clear albeit painful. And here's a lesson that's closely related: God is in control! God had Joseph's life perfectly planned out to the very minute of each major event. Now does that mean God was the source of his pain? Absolutely not, but God saw it, and worked it into His plan for Joseph's process to the palace. He took the pain, added some pieces to it, and made it a present to be unwrapped at the perfect time. Although it makes God hurt to see us hurt He knows how to use our painful experiences to benefit us and bless others. But He won't take us out of the pit, or prison, or any other oven of painful circumstance until the moment when He knows that we're ready and it's the right time. And as the old folks always say, "He may not come when you want Him, but He's right on time." And that's because He knows that timing is everything.

"Wait on the Lord. Be of good courage. Wait I say on the Lord."

Monday, July 1, 2013

Happy Birthday!


By Akua Boateng

Birthdays are perfect times reflection
and evaluation. Are you still growing?
Today I look back on the years that I have been privileged to live. As I think of the many decisions that I have made both good and bad…I must declare that life has been good. As I grow chronologically and physically, I have to ask myself, "Have I grown emotionally and spiritually in the same or greater measure?" After all, since the day I was born, I have developed exponentially in stature, autonomy and capacity. I've read, wrote, computed, created and have been degreed. But is there something I might have missed? 

When I was a child, I was open to the world and its wonder. I trusted openly and connected authentically. As I grew, I was faithfully committed to the possibility of the future and thought of it as an adventure park waiting to be explored and conquered by me. I spoke my mind and was comfortable within my own skin. I knew I was an irreplaceable gift to the world. I was committed to my internal and external growth. 

Today, I take a glance back and ask myself, "Has the openness, trust, wonder and commitment to the possibilities of my destiny grown? Or have I just grown physically and left this part of me behind? Do I still try to master things within, and conquer obstacles set before me?"

We are bigger, stronger and older…but are we enriching the template of internal growth that God initially placed within us? 

Grow! From the top of your head to the tips your toes. 
Grow! From your brain capacity and depth to the imagination that expresses the complexity of it. 
Grow! From the playground to the boardroom.
Grow. All of you. 

After all…that kid inside of you may have been right…you're an irreplaceable gift to the world! 

Happy Birthday...




A therapist by profession, Akua Opoku-Boateng provides career and life coaching to teens and young adults. Yesterday, Akua celebrated her ??th birthday! You can follow her on twitter @kweeOlogy and maybe she'll tell you exactly how young she is. Be sure to subscribe to get the latest updates from Akua and the other Growth Specialists in  The Growth Network.  

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Dreamers and Detractors

I have always been fascinated by the life of Joseph.  As of late, I have been drawn in by the drama once again. I am really intrigued by his resilience and also his giftedness. This time, we're reading the story of Joseph as a part of our family worship. It was yesterday morning that this particular portion arrested my attention. It's only two verses, but I think they represent a magnanimous moment in the life of this young prodigy.

"Here comes that dreamer!" they said to each other. "Come now, let's kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we'll see what comes of his dreams." 
-Gen. 37:19-20 NIV

What's so deep and ironic about this moment is that their reasoning and intentions are clear. Their plan is to completely cancel the dreams and the life of the dreamer.  Anyone who has read the story knows that their plan is ultimately thwarted, but what's amazing is that the exact opposite of what they wanted and intended is actually what happens.  There is a wild and turbulent ride ahead for Joseph, but ultimately their demotion was actually a promotion.

Herein lies a very deep life lesson...a growth spurt, if you like. There are many times in life that detractors and haters will seek to hurt you with their words and their actions toward you.  Painful as it may be to end up in a pit, it actually has the potential to turn into a promotion.  Pain positions us for purpose.  And so as Joseph said, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good..." (Gen. 50:20).

Can you endure the scrutiny of your detractors, the embarrassment of a demotion, and the pain that comes from abuse? If you can, your dream might be closer than you think. You just wait, your setback might be a set-up for a comeback.

Friday, June 7, 2013

The Tornadoes…Within


By Akua Boateng
I am from California. Born and raised. So when I moved to Alabama I was amazed by tornadoes. I still remember my first one. I was extremely vigilant and terrified listening to the weather updates from underneath my storm approved hiding place.

As the catastrophic winds would blow, destroying the once inhabited places, I could never imagine getting “used to this.”

Unlike me, the native southerners often would have storm kits and action plans prepared for the season that came annually. For they had already experienced so many tornadoes in the past they knew what to do.  They had experienced this scary and emotionally stunning time before and now had grown to anticipate it.

Many of us have experienced (or are experiencing) tornadoes...within. Whether it is paralyzing uncertainty about the future, unrelenting thoughts from the past or frustrating confusion about the present, these internal emotional tornadoes seek to destroy whatever is established in its path. However, those who have an “emotional storm kit” and shelter for safety prepared often come out without as much damage.

Likened to a tornado storm kit, your emotional storm kit needs to include these 3 key essentials:
  1. Non-perishables- Hope, Laughter and Past Survival Recollection
  2. Flashlight – Spiritual Connection and Guidance
  3. Radio – only authorized, beneficial, spiritual counsel to help you through internal crisis  (friends/family)

Emotionally growing people anticipate the tornadoes within that come with the growth process. However, they continue to thrive and progress after the storm because they had prepared themselves to adapt to the difficult life changes. Although they experience damage sometimes (we all do), a minor repair compared to rebuilding is the contrast. Are you prepared?

  Akua Opoku-Boateng is a clinical therapist turned youth career coach in Northeast Alabama. She has a passion for seeing individuals experience emotional growth & restoration. Read her full bio here. Otherwise, follow her on Twitter@kweeOlogy, and be sure to look for more of her posts on emotional growth regularly here on The Growth Network blog.


Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Learning From A Real Winner



Over the past few months we've written quite a bit about trauma, grief, and the process of coping and healing from such experiences. We talked quite a bit about J.R. Martinez and the process of healing he went through--both physical, and emotional after his traumatic injury while serving in Iraq. I wrote about about him here...and here, and I promised that there was an article soon to come in Message Magazine. Well the article was released in the current issue of Message so you can click to view it on  the Message Magazine website. There is also bonus video of my interview with him, so hopefully that will become available soon on the website as well. After talking to him I had this deep feeling that this dude deserves to be famous. He has a winning spirit and he deeply encouraged me. Just check the article and see for yourself.

Me with J.R. Martinez and his media manager after
we sat down for the interview. Photo by Troy Bogar.  

Monday, April 29, 2013

In Memory of the Late Great Jarret Wade

Jarret's last 6 months is a reminder of how precious life is. Not only that, but the perspective and resolve  that the good life requires. Learn some lessons from a young brother who lived life a short, yet full life.



Read about his journey here: http://survivingcancersoon.wordpress.com/

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Ingredients for Growth


By Akua Boateng, M.S.

I love peace lilies. They're lush, green, and they flourish rapidly. When placed in your space they provide a sense of beauty and tranquility. These as well as other plants often remind me of our emotional growth. Growth indicates the development of something from a lower or simpler to a higher or more complex form. Everybody wants to grow, to be their “best self” or even to achieve some type of emotional “centeredness.” This may describe you. I believe that in any growth process there are some essential ingredients to begin the development. The 3 essentials are these:
  
1. Environment for Expansion  
Every plant needs space to expand and grow.
Ensure that your environment allows that space. 
One of my peace lilies began growing rapidly and looked amazing. I was amazed and excited believing that it was my awesome green thumb. Then suddenly it began to die, and I could not understand why. I was watering it and caring for it in the same way. I found that the reason it was not growing was because it lacked the space needed for its expansion. To grow emotionally, we need the right environment.  The space that once assisted in your expansion may need to be altered and revisited. Some of us need to choose bigger goals, better friends, or even new career strategies. You may not currently fit your new vision (space) however give yourself the space to grow into it.

2. Mistakes Equal Education
Mistakes help us to identify the areas where
we need pruning and new growth. 
Mistakes are essential in the growth process in order to constantly build upon our personal knowledge base. Innovation comes from learning to be wrong in order to find clarity. We learn from bad relationships, failed attempts at reaching a goal, or the consequences of never trying. Emotional healthy individuals learn from their mistakes and use them as education.

3. Aspiration Breeds Motivation
Dreams and aspirations help you
to see yourself as you intend to be.
The bible speaks of the idea of writing a vision. Aspirations help us to see ourselves in the future without qualifying evidence of its presence. We grow and expand our borders through dreaming the unimaginable. Knowledge that you are worthy of this is essential, and faith to believe beyond your current resources and abilities is key. Write down an aspiration for your future. Watch to see how you instinctively will rise to meet it. In your emotionally low times, this will be your motivation to keep moving forward.

As we embark on this journey of growth, I believe you will begin to see new opportunities for the new and greater in your life. These are essentials for growth broadly…next time we will dive into the emotional implications of these prerequisite steps. 


 Akua Opoku-Boateng is a clinical therapist  in Northeast Alabama. She has a passion for seeing individuals experience emotional restoration. Read her full bio here. Otherwise, follow her on Twitter @kweeOlogy, and be sure to look for more of her posts on emotional growth regularly here on The Growth Network blog.