A Necessary Violence

Disclaimer: What follows was written over two years ago. After preaching tonight I was approached about the subject and offered to share this for further insight. I thought the subject matter relevant to the ideas of this blog and thus, here it is. "A Necessary Violence" I hope it serves as a means of insight and inspiration. 

From the time John preached his message until this very day the Kingdom of heaven has suffered violent attacks, and violent men try to seize it.

-Matthew 11:12 (TEV)

 

I love animals.  I especially love large animals.  Large birds, bears, big cats like: lions, tigers, and panthers.  I like elephants, giraffes, and the other herbivorous large animals, but I especially enjoy watching the large carnivores.  I enjoy watching them hunt.  They are so artful, crafty, and swift for their size, it’s almost unbelievable to see them catch their prey.

 

There are many creationists (Christian scientists) who believe that there was a time when Lions and other carnivores ate no meat.  They suggest that there was a crucial point in history long ago where there was a major shift in the natural order of things.  They suggest that it was after Adam and Eve sinned.  Still others may even suggest that it wasn’t until after the great global flood found in Genesis.  Nevertheless, they are now skillful hunters and cold-blooded killers.

And that’s where the rubber meets the road because they aren’t necessarily cold-blooded (in all actuality, many of them are warm-blooded (sorry, couldn’t help myself).  They don’t kill for the sheer pleasure of killing, as some do.  They kill to eat.  And they eat to live.  They reason, “In order for me to live, somebody’s got to die.”  Theirs is a necessary violence.

 

And so they hunt.  Masterfully, artfully, carefully, cunningly stalking their prey.  Grading and calculating which way they will have to run, how they will have to strike, and at what exact moment, all with matchless precision.

 

In the above verse, Jesus is (once again) making one of those statements that make you scratch your head.  He uses such strong language, and words that He uses only this one time to describe the Kingdom of God.  Nevertheless, He speaks of these seemingly negative traits as if they are positives—necessary (if you will).

 

He first qualifies his statement saying, “From the time John came on the scene and did his thing until now…” as if He is inviting us to get on the bandwagon with something new that’s happening.  Keep and mind that Jesus and John the Baptist were cousins, and they were only about 6 months apart in age.  John’s mother (Elizabeth) was pregnant with him when Mary first realized she was pregnant too (see Lk. 1:26-45).  He (John) began his ministry not long before Jesus began His.  They ministered during the same time period and their ministries overlapped.  When John was ending his ministry, Jesus was beginning His.  And all of this had happened fairly recently.

 

Now Jesus says, “This is something new that’s happening, and you want to get in on the bottom level.  Act now.  This offer will not last long. Call now while supplies last!”

 

Now we know that this is something positive because in the previous two verses Jesus gives a short and serious expression of how He sees the life and ministry of John the Baptist.  He says, “John is the man to whom the Scriptures refer when they say, `Look, I am sending my messenger before you, and he will prepare your way before you. I assure you, of all who have ever lived, none is greater than John the Baptist” (Mt. 11:10-11a).  So right here in the text Jesus says that, “John’s ministry was important and powerful.  He was anointed to prepare people to receive Me and my ministry, and there’s not another man who has ever lived who is greater than John.”  Now Jesus was obviously not talking about John as a person; being compared to other people in general, but rather of his one-of-a-kind opportunity to prepare the way for (and present) the Messiah.  No one else had that awesome privilege and thus he is the greatest (to prophesy of the coming King).  Nevertheless, he did his part in the plan so masterfully and honorably that it added to his greatness.

 

And thus Jesus says, “John was great! So great that he started a trend.”  Now I am not a trendy person.  Frankly, I’m not much into trends at all.  It’s my personal opinion that trends can often signal what’s wrong in the world rather than what’s right.  So I largely, generally avoid them.  I realize that sometimes it can be considered foolish (or even bad) to avoid certain trends because there are ones that lead us to greater effectiveness and productivity.  I admit that that’s just the way I am. I’m working on that.  In this case, Jesus suggests that it’s foolish, possibly even bad to avoid this trend.

 

He says, “Ever since John came preaching until this very moment the Kingdom of heaven now suffers violent attacks…”

 

Try hard to contain and control your astonishment.  “…the Kingdom of Heaven suffers violent attacks…”  It is the only place in the entire Bible where this phrase (“suffers violence”) is used.  Now some would suggest it is the Kingdom of Heaven that promotes violence or “expands violently” but that is not the case as Jesus describes it.  Everything in the verse is happening to the Kingdom of Heaven.  The Kingdom is on the receiving end.  It doesn’t really make sense for an entire kingdom to be violent but then be (successfully) attacked, overthrown, taken-over by a few violent people.  No.  The Kingdom is passive.  And ever since John came people have had this insatiable thirst to attack and even take the kingdom.

 

Talk about a hostile take-over?!  This is what John started.  This is who John was.  John was hostile towards the order of things.  John was dissatisfied with the way things were.  John hated it that the temple was being used as the federal reserve bank of the greedy priests. John hated it that the scribes and Pharisees used their knowledge of the law to keep the blue-collar shepherd, peasant, factory-worker oppressed under pointless policies.  John hated it that the people of God were supposed to be the rulers of the land they inhabited yet they were being imprisoned by another country’s foreign policy and police force.  John hated it that the people who were supposed to be serving as Israel’s spiritual leaders were being pimped by petty politicians ploying to protect their own positions.  John was dissatisfied with the way things were.  

 

And so John resorted to drastic—violent measures.  He moved out of the city and into the country.  He got rid of his linen shirts and Gucci robes and started wrapping himself in burlap sacks and animal skins.  He pushed aside the tilapia and halibut and started eating grasshoppers and wild honey. He spoke truth to power and didn’t care if they wanted to hear it or not.  His sermons were straight and to the point and he didn’t pay attention to opinion polls.  John hated injustice, immorality, hypocrisy, and the like.  This brother had a hostile, violent attitude.  That’s the way he lived his life, and that’s the way he served God.  

 

He was on an all-out, vicious attack and God’s Kingdom was his target.  God’s approval was his goal, and the evil workings of Satan were his only obstacle.  He was a violent man of God, on a violent mission for God, with a violent word from God, doing the violent work of God, in preparation for the violent Son of God.

 

Now get this.  In verses 13 and 14, Jesus said (and I’m paraphrasing) that, “the law and all the prophets did their part up until John, but John was special.  If you guys would have really listened to him John was the present-day Elijah.”  Now what’s this about Elijah?  Elijah was another violent brother.  And his was a necessary violence (see 1 Ki. 17).

 

Elijah began his ministry as a prophet during a time of great wickedness and rebellion against God.  The people of God were constantly fighting, betraying, backbiting, plotting, and scheming against each other.  And the kings were at the center of all the mess.  They were so busy trying to position themselves favorably with other countries and with the people (in order to remain in power) that they had completely lost sight of their responsibility to ensure the people’s faithfulness to the will of God.  The kings built temples, altars, and idols specifically designed to worship other gods as a means to find favor with other people groups and placate the people’s unholy alliances.  

 

Jeroboam was a terribly wicked king.  He rebelled against the established government and set up his own kingdom in the north.  He then set up new worship centers so that the people didn’t even have to go down south for camp-meeting.  The problem was he established these two new churches around two golden calves. Sound familiar?  Yeah, the same exact image that made Moses break the two tablets of stone with the ten commandments on them. Then Jeroboam hired some gangsters to be the priests and pastors for his new churches.  Not only that but even after Jeroboam was crippled and the Lord destroyed one of his altars he still expanded the kingdom’s idol worship further. This brother was so wicked that every wicked king who came after was called “One of Jeroboam’s boys.”  He was the poster-boy for wicked leadership

 

Then, five kings and about 50 yrs later there was king Omri.  This brother was so evil that the Bibles says that he worse than all the other kings before him (1 Ki. 16:25).  In the very next verse the Bible is careful to mention that he was just like Jeroboam only much worse.  Then Omri had a son named Ahab.  And Ahab became king.  Then the Bible says that this brother was so evil he made Jeroboam look like an imposter (see 1 Ki. 16:30-31).

 

Enter Elijah, the man God used to turn the people’s attention back to the true God.  This was a violent brother.  He immediately bursts on the scene and proclaims, “There ain’t gon’ be no rain, sleet, sleet, snow, hail, dew, or any other thing that even remotely resembles water falling from the sky until I say so.”  Ever meet somebody with serious crowd control?  This brother has crowd control.  But not only that, this brother has cloud control. He is standing in front of the king of all of Israel and he’s calling the shots and giving the orders.  It’s a “nobody move; nobody get hurt” sorta thing.  This is a violent statement.

 

Now you’ve got to realize that Elijah said there won’t be any rain for the next few years so that obviously means that there will be a drought.  Which also means there will be a famine.  Because without irrigation the crops can’t grow.  And notice the drought and famine had to reach more than 80 miles north of Samaria because he meets a Phoenician widow in the same chapter who is feeling the burden of barrenness.

 

So then fast forward a little bit to chapter 18 where Ahab and Elijah meet for the second time face to face.  “Are you the one who’s been causin’ all this trouble in my kingdom?”  This is a classic punk move!  Ahab knows exactly who Elijah is because Elijah told Ahab to his face that it wasn’t gonna rain.  But at this point he’s a bit intimidated by Elijah because everything has happened just as he said it would. And the fearless, violent Elijah looks him square in the eyes and says, “I’m not causin’ the trouble. It’s you and your daddy who’s caused all the trouble. You wanna take this outside?”  And so the stage is set when he challenges Ahab to bring all of his false prophets to Mt. Carmel for a showdown.  And whoever’s god responds by consuming their offering with fire is the true God.  

 

So there stands Elijah by himself on the side of God with 400 prophets to the false god Baal on the other side.  Elijah is outnumbered yet unafraid.  The rules for this old-fashioned face-off are very simple.  Each side is gonna cut up a bull and lay it on the altar and pray for their god to respond by sending down fire from the sky to eat up the offering.   Elijah turns to the large crowd that showed up to see the showdown and he says, “How long are ya’ll gonna keep playing with God? Ya’ll need to make up your minds who you’re gonna serve. If Baal is god then serve him. If God is God serve Him.”  He then turns to the prophets of Baal and says do your thing.  

 

Baal’s prophets screamed cried and even cut themselves with knives all day until (finally) they gave up.  Elijah steps up and commands that the altar of God be soaked with water.  He made it so that the people knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that, “this is going to require a supernatural display of power in order to burn that animal.”  Well, after Elijah prayed not only was the animal burned up, but the wood, the stones, and the water that had drained down into the trenches around the altar had all been sucked up by the heavenly flames.

 

Immediately, those people who had been too scared to stand for God just a few hours earlier were all kneeling and worshipping before the true God.  Then Elijah turned toward the 400 prophets of Baal and ordered that they all be killed on the spot.  Can you imagine how much blood was spilled on the top of that mountain?  I tell you that Elijah was a violent brother.

 

Are you beginning to see the connection?  I don’t want you to get it mixed up.  John and Elijah’s violence was against evil not against people.  The violence I’m talking about is a violence against evil not against people. Some of us are more violent against people than we are against evil.  We take it literal when Elijah killed those 400 prophets of Baal and we start looking for the people who are not serving God so that they can run ‘em through with a knife.  That’s exactly what we do to people e who struggling in their faith.  We often kick ‘em when they’re down.  No .  But rather, I‘m suggesting that those 400 prophets are the 400 channels on Direct TV that try to steal the time that I could be serving God and pour it down the drain.

 

I’m talking about a necessary violence.  They say if you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.  And I don’t know about you but I’m sick of evil.  I’m sick of sin.  I’m sick of inconsistency.  I’m sick of unfaithfulness.  I’m sick of a lack of commitment.  I’m sick of addiction.  I’m sick of gossip.  I’m sick of lying and cheating.  I’m sick of scheming.  I’m sick of broken promises.  I’m sick of betrayal.  I’m sick spiritualism. I’m sick of witchcraft.  I’m sick of murder.  I’m sick of adultery.  I’m sick of sexual immorality.  I’m sick of pornography.  I’m sick of hypocrisy.  I’m sick of pride.  I’m sick of false doctrine.  I’m sick of hatred.  I’m sick of drug abuse.  I’m sick of evil in all of its forms,   and I’m feeling a little violent right now.

 

They say the most dangerous animals are wounded animals.  They will do anything to protect themselves from suffering further harm.  Well call me a wounded animal because I’m feeling a little violent right now.

 

As a matter of fact I’m about to get real violent. But keep in mind this violence is against evil not against people.  Oh but you best believe I’m still about to get real violent.  Now remember Paul said the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty through God for the pulling down of strongholds (2 Cor. 10:4).  Yeah so I got some weapons.  I got me a bullet proof vest called righteousness.  I got me a helmet called salvation.  I got me a shield called faith.  And I like the offensive weapons.  I got me a sword called the word of God.  And Paul was old-school, but I think if he were alive today he would’ve said that you need a gun.  I got me a gun it’s called prayer and fasting.  I got some weapons, and I’m about to get real violent.

 

I’m about to get violent with bible studies.  I’m about to get violent with fervent intercessory prayer for the lost.  I’m about to get violent with community service.  I’m about to get violent by being kind to people who don’t even deserve it.  I’m about to get violent with outreach.  I’m about to get violent in faithfulness to the mission of the church.  I’m about to get violent with witnessing and sharing my faith.  I’m about to get violent and turn off the TV for a change.  I’m about to get violent and have family worship.  I’m about to get violent and visit the sick. I’m about to get violent in serving the Lord.

 

Desperate times call for desperate measures; and these are desperate times.

 

Now keep in mind.  If you are hurting people then God is not pleased.  And a lot of people like to say, “Well the truth hurts.”  Yes the truth does hurt, but are you the type of person that people prefer to hear the hard truth from?  If nobody wants to be around you, nobody wants to listen to you, nobody wants to hear what you got to say, babies don’t like you, kids run away from you, there must be something wrong.    

 

Now remember the text.   Jesus said, “John was Elijah….” (Mt. 11:14).  And remember it was Elijah mission to turn the people’s attention back to God.  And that’s exactly what John did.  John was spiritually violent, but his entire focus was to point the people to the the most violent man who ever lived—Jesus Christ.  It’s very fitting that Jesus is the one who makes this statement because He knows what spiritual violence is—He created the idea.  It was a very violent move to give up his kingdom and be born as a poor peasant human on planet earth.  It was a very violent move to fast for forty days and forty nights in the wilderness.  It was a very violent move to preach and teach the truth in the presence of people who wanted to kill Him. It was a very violent move to give sight to the blind, strength to the crippled, and life to those who were lying in their graves.  John said that “Jesus came to destroy the works of devil” (1 Jn. 3:8).  And his methods were very violent.

 

And if all that weren’t enough, He was betrayed, and denied by His own disciples, accused by liars in a kangaroo court, condemned by a heathen politician, and the whole time “He stood as Lamb before the slaughter…and He opened not His mouth (Is. 53:7).  I wish I were there because I would have leaned over to him and said, “Now’’s a good time to say that thing again…’Thing of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force.’”  He dragged His own cross to the top of a mountain, and allowed these dirty, grimy, sinful, men to hammer spikes into his hands and feet.  Then he hangs there for hours and all he says is “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”  This is a necessary violence.  

 

I told you before that those predators know that in order for them to live something else has to die.  Well, Jesus knew that in order for us to live, somebody had to die.  And this violent brother decided that that somebody would be Him.  He allowed them to take him down off the cross and lay Him in a borrowed tomb.  And see here’s the good part.  Jesus is teaching us what pulling down strongholds is all about.  Sometimes it takes drastic measure to bring about drastic change.  No one had ever raised themselves up from the dead.  

 

So when He comes bustin up out of that grave.  He stands as the victor over a violent, bloody, battle with death, sin, and Satan.  And he stood there at the mouth of that tomb saying, “Oh death where is thy sting, oh grave where is thy victory!” (1 Cor. 15:55).  I told you Jesus is a very violent brother.  And His is a necessary violence.

The Road Less Traveled

I intended to post something today about marriage and divorce, but I had to share this.

The passage is taken from the book Christ's Object Lessons by Ellen G. White. I obviously have an app that gives me access to all her writings. I just finished reading The Desire of Ages (...again), and since I was engrossed in reading what she wrote about the life of Christ, I thought I might as well go ahead and read what she wrote about the teachings of Christ. This isn't the first time that I've read this book, but I don't remember reading this.

This, for me, is one of those moments in my walk with God where He's talking, and I'm quietly listening. It's a long journey, and we've been walking for a long time and over a great distance. I've done lots of talking, and so has He. I've been very animated and excited at times. I am sure that I have often made Him smile, or maybe even laugh at times. I know there have been times when He's made me laugh. But at this moment the conversation just got real solemn. We're walking, He's talking, I'm listening. Mouth closed. Head down. Hands in pockets. Kicking a rock as I go, so that I have something to distract me even the least bit from the heart-seeking missiles of His words.

It just got real. I got it though...I think. If I could encapsulate the vast expanse of ideas in three simple points then they would probably be somewhere along these lines.

God requires:
1. That I would love people...because He loves them too.
2. That I never pursue or preserve reputation; rather integrity and divine purpose.
3. That I trust Him.

I stop for a minute because I want to speak, but in this moment, it's probably best not to. He's looking at me the entire time. I just keep my head down. I glance at Him, but I stare at the rock again. I need this rock. The rock helps me focus. Then I look up at the path ahead...we got a long way to go. Then I turn around and look...and truth is...we've really come a long way already. I'm cool though, because He's right here with me.

I sit down on a log and take some notes, because I wanna remember what He said. He says He'll remind me, but I take the notes anyhow.

I'm going to read this chapter again soon.

I get back up, and we continue our journey.

He's Never Coming Back??? (Sudden Death Pt. 3/Final)

I think I first started hating funerals when my brother died. That was a sad funeral. It was terribly sad. Fast forward twenty years, and there I am with complete disdain for funerals, yet officiating over the funeral of my own father. Sharhonda had filled in some of the details; a lot of which was breaking news to me. And as the weeks wore on, I slowly picked up bits and pieces of the story; complete with all types of fanciful details including a failed suicide attempt around Thanksgiving, a separation from his newlywed wife, court-ordered probation, anti-depressant medication, and then some.

I remember standing there as they closed the casket and comforting my family as they wound the casket bed down. I don't remember for sure but I think that the casket remained open during the duration of the service, but there was one final viewing at the end and then they closed the casket for good. I remember that it was taking a little longer than normal. It's an old pastor's tactic to comfort the family while the casket is being closed so that everyone isn't so laser-focused on the casket. When the casket closes there is this sense of finality for many people. But there I was; I had done all the greeting and comforting that I could possibly have done but they still hadn't finished closing it. There was this dark silent moment right then at the front of the sanctuary. Everybody's crying; and everything that my grandmother had been holding back just broke loose.

“He's never coming back!”

“He's never coming back!”

“He's never coming back!”

“He's never coming back!”

Over and over again; she kept repeating it. It was a paralyzing moment. Theoretically, theologically, I wanted to object and correct her reasoning, but this was not a moment made for philosophical discourse. This was a deep gut-wrenching cry for relief from excruciating emotional pain. This was grief in it's rawest, realest form. But that's when Jesus often shows up.

He touches the coffin and says in the most calm and assured tone, “Young man, I say to you, get up” (Lk. 7:14 NIV).

I've always been amazed by the voice of God. For He spoke, and it was done; He commanded, and it stood fast.” He “calls the things that are not, as though they were” (Ps. 33:9 NASB, Rom. 4:17b WEB) He created the entire world with His voice. Birds, trees, ocean, stars, fish, mountains, planets, and plant-bearing seeds: all with reverberating syllabic vocal intonations. And with that same voice He healed people, turned water into wine, quieted a raging sea squall, and now He intends to literally raise the dead.

The sound barely leaves His lips before it is accompanied by the very life-force that flows from the throne of The Almighty God of the Universe. This voice carried with it the electric energy of life deep into the dark caverns of the cold corpse, and before the most minute measurement of time might make itself manifest, life found it's place where it had so recently escaped and the young man began to speak.

I wonder what he said...

“What happened?...What's going on?...Mom?!”

The text says that, “Jesus gave him back to his mother.” This is what seems so unfair. This is why I can't argue with my grandma. In a sense she's right. Jesus is not present to deliver my dad back into her arms. Jesus was not there at my brother's funeral to bring my brother back to life. That's what stinks about death. It seems so final—so unfair. How is it that the widow get's her son back, but I don't get my dad back. How come I can't have my brother back?

Death makes the world seem totally out of synch. We all know we're going to die, but it's always bad timing when it's our turn. Nobody wants to die...well...more on that later. Yet, truthfully it's not in our nature to want to die. We want to live and thrive, and so when death comes, he is always an unwelcome guest. But thank God, God restores. He finds a way to restore life...in the ones we've lost. And in us after we have lost. God restores.

State of Shock (Sudden Death Pt. 2)

My members were walking in the doors for worship and prayer and I was walking out in numbness and shock. My only thought was, “I gotta get down to Florida.” The numbness reminds me of a story in the Bible that probably best displays the shock of loss that a person experiences when they lose a loved one to death.

Soon afterward, Jesus went to a town called Nain, and his disciples and a

large crowd went along with him. As he approached the town gate, a dead

person was being carried out—the only son of his mother, and she was

a widow. And a large crowd from the town was with her. When the Lord

saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, “Don’t cry.” Then he went

up and touched the bier they were carrying him on, and the bearers stood

still. He said, “Young man, I say to you, get up!” The dead man sat up

and began to talk, and Jesus gave him back to his mother. 

(Luke 7:11-15NIV)

Jesus is surrounded by a massive crowd, which is no surprise because everywhere Jesus goes a large crowd follows. He's the equivalent of a modern-day superstar in that everywhere He goes, He gets mobbed by people. They've heard of His miracles and many of them want to see it for themselves. He travels all the time and so there's no telling when or if He'll ever come here again. Many come to see, but some come to be healed themselves. Some come to bring their friends and family to be healed. Some come to hear Him teach about the Kingdom of God. They say he speaks like no other man who has ever lived. He's different. Man believe that He's the promised one, the Redeemer, the Messiah. Thus, they followed Him everywhere.

On this particular day Jesus is entering the city of Nain, a small village town just southeast of Nazareth. The twelve disciples are by His side and the usual crowd of expectant onlookers are close behind. They're approaching the city gateway and while they're coming in brimming with excitement and expectancy, there's another crowd coming out with weeping and wailing. It's a funeral procession. Talk about bad timing...or is it?

Let me pause right here and remind you that I said I don't like funerals...at all. I realize that Nobody likes funerals. But I don't like them at all. I actually detest funerals. I suppose that might be a bit disconcerting for someone to hear how much their pastor hates funerals. Sad, it is; but it's true. I have a really hard time ministering at funerals. Pastors are often invited to share in the ministerial duties at funerals. I always go, but I have a really hard time maintaining my composure while sitting up behind the pulpit. I think it's because I hate seeing people suffer pain of any kind. I remember assisting in a funeral for two little boys who died in a fire. They were so small that they placed both of them in one casket. I didn't even view their little bodies. I walked right past the casket. They asked me to give words of encouragement to the family. I did, but I struggled to conceal my anguish during the entire funeral. I was a mess.

Jesus and His followers meet this funeral procession just as it is leaving the city. In ancient Jewish culture, dead bodies are considered unclean and thus they must be removed from the community. Thus, Jews were always funeralized and buried outside the city limits so that the community wouldn't become “defiled” by death. Not only that, but funerals took place abruptly after a person died for the same reason. Thus the processional outside of the city was an integral part of the actual funeral. People are crying, and screaming as they walk alongside the coffin to the burial place. Their is a fairly large group; some are relatives. Some are neighbors. Some are just nosey. And there are even some who are paid to come and cry out loud in order to show that the dead person was greatly loved.

In the midst of this whirlwind of a scene is the family, yet only one family member is mentioned. It's the mother of the deceased and their something about her that makes this an even more tragic scene. The Bible says that this (the one who died) is her only son. That's sad.

I remember hearing something about the military not accepting war volunteers who had no other siblings. There is something terrible about losing your only child to death. But that's not all.

The Bible says, “and she was a widow” (Lk. 7:12 NIV) Luke tosses in that extra detail to turn the knife and drive it in a little deeper. She had lost her son, possibly that very same day and top of that she was already dealing with the loss of her husband. And all of a sudden she's alone. No companion. No children. Just her; in a wicked and cruel world. What's ironic is that she 's surrounded by people, but she's still all alone.

Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever been surrounded by people and still felt terribly lonely? Have you ever lost a loved one that was so close to you that you all of a sudden felt alone in the world? Have you loved someone so deeply only to lose them to death and then feel like you could never love anyone like that again? I am convinced that death and loneliness are close relatives. When death shows up, loneliness is likely close behind. Even in cases where one is not actually alone after the loss of a loved one, there might be the feeling or sense of being alone in the world—like no one cares. No one understands.

Here's another question: Have you ever had someone walk up to you at a funeral and tell you, “I know how you feel?”

“How could you possibly know how I feel? Have you ever had your only son die? Have you ever had your husband die? Have you ever had both, your only son and your husband die? Probably not. So how could you possibly know how I feel? But maybe you have (by some stretch of the imagination) had the same general experience. You still can't imagine the deep emotional nuances of my relationship with the two of them and how it effects me right now to have lost both of them. You have no earthly idea how I feel right now.”

It's in these moments that you actually want to be alone. You just want to be left completely to yourself. You don't want to be bothered by anyone. So yes this is sad and people are crying, but how many of these people are actually able to comprehend the position she's in right now?

But there's more. We have no way of knowing when or how her husband died, but that doesn't even matter. Just think of it like this. There was no women's lib movement, and the welfare system was totally different. Therefore, it was going to be really hard without him. But at least she has her son to carry on the family name, the family business, and care for her in her old age. But that's the problem.

Now he's gone too. Who's going to look after her? Who's going to provide for her? Who's going to protect her? Can you sense the loneliness creeping in?

My eldest brother died when I was a little boy. He drowned in a boating accident while serving in the Air Force. As the story goes, he went out for a weekend trip with some of his service buddies. He lost his footing and fell off of the edge of the boat, and his friends couldn't save him. While I don't know all of the details of what happened, I can tell you exactly how it affected our family. We were devastated. It was an extremely sad time for all of us. But no one took it as hard as my mom. She cried a whole lot, and I'm sure she suffered a great deal of depression as a result.

It's from this experience that I learned a bit about how painful it is for a parent to lose a child. While I personally haven't sustained that level of loss; I watched it's havoc every day as it unraveled it's tentacles in the life of my mom and our family. There is something terribly backwards about losing a child. You intend to die and leave them to live out your legacy. They are your posterity. And without them your name and family line ceases forever. It's not fair. It's not right. But this is where the widow is; and it's all happening so fast.

She hasn't had time to think and plan, but all of this walking and screaming and crying is making her even more anxious, and agitated, and angry. She just wants everything to slow down. Everybody be quiet! Everybody stop! But nobody is listening to her. She's so angry that she starts breaking down and the tears start to flow. And that's when Jesus walks right up to her and says, “Don't cry” (Lk. 7:13 NIV). It seems like an outlandish command, but when she looks into His eyes, she knows that He's no ordinary man. She can feel the deep warmth of care and concern from the look in His eyes. Yet, without even saying a word, He turns to the coffin and does what no other priest, pharisee, or rabbi noble dare. He reaches out to touch the coffin and the both processions come to a screeching halt. The entire crowd of disciples draws a gasping breath. Some begin to whisper wondering what Jesus must be thinking. Nevertheless, His thoughts are crystal clear.

He thinks only of this mourning mother and the great want that He intends to restore. He thinks of her many needs that will definitely go unheeded and possibly even unnoticed. He's thinking about her husband and how much He wished she didn't have to stomach such a loss. He's thinking about turning her grief into joy.

And thus here surfaces a grand maxim: Jesus cares! When no one else takes the time to listen or understand—Jesus cares. When there is distress, strife, pain, and loss—Jesus cares. No matter how traumatic or tragic—Jesus cares. Jesus knows and Jesus cares!

Sudden Death

On January 4, 2011, my father committed suicide
after battling depression and substance abuse.

I've been writing, thinking, and teaching quite a bit lately on grief and related issues. Here is an excerpt from a project I'm working on along the same lines. Here, we specifically deal with coping with sudden loss in the death of a loved one. It's my own personal story, and later I'll try and draw meaning not only from my experience, but also from a biblical narrative that I believe is closely related.

My family began last year with a literal BANG! It was January 4, 2011, and we were gearing up for
a really busy year at the church. I had gone to the hospital around 4:30 that morning to pray with a
member who was preparing for surgery. I was there for several hours so by the time I made it home I
was very tired (more on that story later). I went to sleep and took what ended up being a very long nap. I had no way of knowing it when I laid down, but I was getting some rest that was really going to come
in handy. I woke up in a bit of rush realizing that I was late for a meeting at the church. I got up, got
ready, and rushed out the door. Luckily, we only lived four blocks away from the church.

At the close of a long, yet productive meeting, my cell phone rang. It's was my cousin Sharhonda.
She had that tremble in her voice that said that she'd been crying, and so I knew something was
wrong. “Sharhonda, I'm in a meeting. Let me call you back.” As the meeting ended I walked my guest
outside and dialed Sharhonda back.” Now I assumed that maybe she had had an argument with her
fiance and so I'd give some comfort, encouragement, and advice and then keep it moving. I wasn't at
all prepared for what she was about to say.

It was a Wednesday; and just about time for prayer meeting to begin. A couple of my members were
already driving up. That's right when Sharhonda dropped it on me.

“Chris, I'm so sorry.”

“What's up Sharhonda? What's going on?”

“It's your dad.”

“What happened?”

“He's dead Chris. He shot himself.”

“Are you sure? Are you serious?”

It's amazing how in the moment of a state of shock how such ridiculous questions like, “Are you sure?” become the only plausible option. The world stops spinning, and all of a sudden you're the only one
on it. The air is completely sucked out of you, but it doesn't matter because you're not even thinking
about breathing. You don't even want to breathe. You actually want to wake up because you must be
sleeping. This must be a dream. This can't be real. And so you ask the only sensible questions, “Are
you sure? Are you serious?” This is the kind of stuff that happens on the news or in movies. This isn't supposed to be happening to me. Then there's the numbness. Shock and stunned, you just kind of
stand there for a moment as if in a far-away place until it sinks in that this isn't a prank call. It's really
happening. It's really your dad, and he's really dead. That's usually the point where the tears actually
break through. But that wasn't my response.  I guess I didn't know how to respond.  I simply left the church and went home.

Set the Captives Free (Forgiveness Pt. 4/Final)

The Messiah's work was to be very extensive, yet this prophecy seemingly
speaks exclusively to the relief work to be done for the downtrodden.

The ministry of the Promised One is to be characterized by some very powerful work. Interestingly enough, despite the countless miracles of Jesus there isn't one actual (physical) miracle listed in this description of His mission. Rather the focus is on relieving the burdens of the socially oppressed.  He deals with social issues like...reciprocity...and pardons, and emotional therapy.

And with all of this, there is that one line that that really sticks out to me. The Promised One will boldly "proclaim liberty to the captives..."  And closely aligned with His proclamation is the actual opening of the prison gates. And just like that He says, "You are all free to go."

It's a very beautiful image for those of us who have been separated from an imprisoned loved one. Yet, it may be harrowing for someone who has been victimized by a prisoner. I mean, it is very risky business to set the prisoners free. They could easily pick up where they left off and re-offend. The really intriguing thing is that God is fully aware of the risk, and it's actually His idea that they be freed. Wow, talk about grace!  Now I must add that there are some very specific historical-cultural aspects to this idea which we must address another time. Nevertheless, the imagery is very powerful still.

To set the captives free requires a great deal of trust. It would be a sad deal if we were to follow them around the mall making sure they don't steal anything, or to refuse them gainful employment for fear that they might criminalize the work environment.

Even more sad is the fact that we have in many ways kept them prisoners (if in no other way than) in our own minds. We determine that they will suffer at least just as much as they caused us to suffer so we resolve to hold them captive indefinitely. No pardon, no reprieve, no appeal; just pain, suffering, and torture.

In my first post about forgiveness I introduced a clip wherein one interviewee told her story of victimization. In the following video she and another interviewee talk about the value of forgiveness and setting the captives free.

I can only imagine the relief and joy of freedom that one must feel knowing that they could be, should be, severely punished, only to find that they have been pardoned and released. It must be an absolutely overwhelming experience.  But the truth is, I have received that very same experience in Christ, and He has given me the responsibility to extend that same privilege of grace to those in need. It's an honorable and noble opportunity and an awesome gift.

Now, should we offer rehabilitation to prisoners and set up systems to protect ourselves from systematic, cyclical victimization? I believe we should. But those methods of rehab and prevention are not means to imprison, but rather tools for liberation. It would be treacherous to a pedophile to give him a job working with children. Rather, let's find an area where he can be free to use his gifts and talents that do not so easily tempt him, while we provide therapeutic support that aides in his healing process.

Yet, we retain the satisfaction that God has worked in us a mighty work of liberation, and now works through us that very same work. My, what a feeling of sweetness. Meanwhile we are aware of the the fact that to refuse to forgive is to refuse God's forgiveness. It's amazing how in the video they talked about how much forgiveness helped their own personal healing process. He forgives us as we forgive others, and it is true that often times we hold grudges against people who have forgotten we exist. It's an exercise in futility. We must be willing to forgive; "proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of prison to them that are bound." For it has often been said, "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and then to find out that that prisoner is you."

Reciprocity (Forgiveness Pt. 3)

rec·i·proc·i·ty

   [res-uh-pros-i-tee]

noun

1.

a reciprocal  state or relation.

2.

reciprocation;  mutual exchange.

3.

the relation or policy in commercial dealings between countries by which corresponding advantages or privileges are granted by each country to the citizens of the other.

The term is most often used in the context of conversation involving policies and law, yet the general concept is very simple and basic.  The 2nd definition brings this concept to the surface. Very simple; "mutual exchange." It's a matter of relationship; wherein two parties agree to give and receive equally. This is the general basis of relationships. Two people agree (either formally or informally) on this basic principle.

On the other hand, it is the very same concept that often undergirds our mistreatment of others.  Mommy asks little Johnny why he hit his brother, and little Johnny replies...??? You know it. "He hit me first!!!" We normally and naturally reciprocate mistreatment and ill-will as well as goodwill and favors.

This is why forgiveness is so difficult. There is an unspoken commitment to reciprocity that guides all of our relationships. If a person wrongs us we determine to wrong them, and if by no other means, then by simply disassociating ourselves with them. We are committed to making sure people "get what they deserve."

But here's where I'm challenged most.  If you'll remember in my first post about forgiveness, I talked about all the bad things that have happened to me.  However, the more I think about it, I realize that though I have been on the receiving end many times, I have been on the giving end just as many times.  In other words, I have quite a number of people on my hit list but then I'm sure that there are (at least some) people that have me on their hit list just the same.

I vividly remember being the one doing the very things that I mentioned I hate so much that were done to me.  And that's the problem.  I didn't really mean it.  I mean, I'm not an evil person.  I'm a good guy.  Good-natured, friendly, caring and considerate, funny, trustworthy, supportive, giving...(and might I say) good-looking! Seriously though, everybody sees themselves this way. In our own minds, we all are good people and we don't mean any harm.

Nevertheless, we have bad days, and we make bad decisions. At least, I'll speak for myself. I can think about some of the most terrible things that I've done and truthfully say I really didn't intend to cause any harm.  Now I can already hear the people saying, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blah, blah blah." "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "Just because you mean well, that doesn't excuse your bad behavior."

Point well taken. I believe all of that.  Nevertheless, I'm also thoroughly convinced that I (just like everybody else) am a work-in-progress. And even though I didn't get it right this time, I will get it right one day. And I hope you will be around to see it.  In other words, yes, I realize that I stepped on your toes, and that it hurt.  I'm truly sorry.  Please be patient with me while I'm learning how to dance. One day we'll dance...together.

So whereas I desire people to be patient and forgiving of me where I have made mistakes and missteps, I recognize the need to reciprocate that same patience and forgiveness while they learn how to dance too.

I know this is hard. I'm living it too. But boy I know how much I need forgiveness...from people and from God.

btw, for a biblical illustration of this concept, check out Matthew 18:21-35. If you don't have time, just watch the cartoon version right here: