We're moving!!!

It's official! As of Oct. 23rd this site will become inactive and we will be moving all of our site resources to our new home: 

www.thegrowthnetwork.org 

We're really excited about this milestone in our ministry. We have been working on building the perfect virtual home for The Growth Network for years (literally) and now we're only weeks...yea, days away. 

From the very beginning The Growth Network has always been about creating resources for spiritual growth and personal development. This new site will put all of those resources in one place so you don't have to run all over the web to find them. 

All of our books (and there's much more to come), videos, both blogs (this one and the other one), and more are going to be housed in this one-stop shop for spiritual growth. It'll be totally social media friendly, and we're going to add some really cool new features to the site too. We'll feature some of you and your inspiring growth stories. There's going to be an online course for aspiring authors. We'll tell you about events and retreats that provide great opportunities for growth. We'll even give you new music recommendations, and more. 

This is going to be really cool. So give us a little time and we'll have our brand new growth community ready in a jiffy. Keep growing forward!

SHUTDOWN!!!

by Akua Boateng

Shutdown – shut-down ~ /‘SHət,doun/ (n.)

1.  a closure of a factory or system, typically a temporary closure due to a malfunction or for maintenance.

___________________________________________

Stop. It’s a word that at times elicits a response of resistance to many. The negative connotation that we sense from hearing it so many times takes us back to times where our inferiority was called to attention and situations have dominated our ability.

Synonymous to stop, shutdown speaks of the closure of a system. Whether voluntary or mandatory, it is the temporary halting of an established way of operating. It is when a system stops. Terminates previous function. Pauses. A reset.

A shutdown allows for a reset…even of the soul.

Many of us run through life affixing our allegiances to jobs, people, ideas and system; often spiraling into tired, overworked, remised individuals. We give so much of ourselves without taking time to have our own system rest. Allow the shutdowns of life to make room for rest and realignment.

Take the trip to the park that you have been promising your kids. Make a homemade pizza, discover new melodies or become a stargazer. Find rest for your soul. Isn’t that what you been longing for…time and rest?

Just as the seasons come and go, this time will flow on the same way it came. Savor this moment as the spiritual and physical maintenance that you desperately desire. Experience a book on the breeze-filled patio, write something that you are passionate about and realign the connection to your creator.

“Be still and know that He is God”

It’s often something that we resist and never find time to do. Take full inventory of your life and check your alliances. Make a commitment to change your mode of functioning. Rest. Realign. Reset.

The Invitation of Temptation

As I said earlier in the Joseph series, I intend to share with you some lessons that I saw this time when I read about Joseph more-so than any other time before. So let me cut right to the chase and give you the big idea up front:

Temptation is Satan's invitation for you to abort God's purpose and plan for your life.

Joseph amazes me. He has the fortitude of an iron giant. He's a slave in a foreign country and he still manages to succeed at everything he does (Gen. 39:2). Then he goes to prison and he's upbeat and positive while everyone else is all gloom and doom (Gen. 40:6-7). He's appointed to second in command in the empire of a world power when he's completely unknown to the people and the established leaders (Gen. 41:40). He also spends the following fourteen plus years of his life managing this mammoth master-plan for Pharaoh and the Egyptian people (Gen. 41:48-49). But to withstand the test of Potiphar's wife is the most impressive.

The Bible doesn't actually say that Potiphar's wife was beautiful, but I think we can assume that she was for a few reasons. First, the bible talks about how good looking Joseph was (Gen. 39:6b). It was in the context of that piece of information that Mrs. Potiphar began making overtures to him (39:7). It's obviously because she considers herself a "match" for him. Second, he doesn't just ignore her or blow her off. In fact, the bible never said he didn't want her. I'll come back to this. Third, Potiphar is a very rich, powerful, and well-respected man. In those days the wives of the men of the stature did not work. Their only job was to make their husband look good. Thus, most of them were "trophy wives" or "showpieces." Let's face it, Mrs. Paula Patton, I mean Mrs. Potiphar was fine...as in supa-fine! 

She isn't very shy or discreet either (another clue that she was bombshell). She's used to always getting her way. She's selfish, pampered and spoiled like so many pretty girls are. So she just comes right out with it. 

"'Come and sleep with me,' she demanded."

I heard a preacher say recently that Joseph had every reason to give in. He had been separated from his family and everything he knew. He was betrayed and sold by his brothers. He was being kept as a slave even though his father is a rich nobleman. And he has to learn to navigate the culture and language of this strange place. His mother is dead, and he misses his father. He has a very long list of good reasons not to stand firm. But he stays strong anyway. Absolutely amazing.

This same pastor also argued that Mrs. Portman...ehem, excuse me...Mrs. Potiphar was also completely naked when she made her "request" of Joseph. She had every bit of authority to order everyone out of the house for some privacy, but Joseph is sharp. He know's that this can and will never be a secret. The other servants will figure it out. They've been noticing the extra longs stares that the misses has been sending his way. They've actually been taking bets as to when it was gonna go down. And this is one reason why Joseph can't bend. But look at the other actual reasons he gives. They're classic.

First he says, "Look...my master trusts me..." Next he says, "He has held nothing back from me..." And then finally he said, "How can I do such a wicked thing" It would be a great sin against God" (see Gen. 39:8-9). Did you notice what he didn't say? Let's recap. (1)Your husband really trusts me. (2) I've been doing really good and staying out of trouble. (3) No one else might find out, but God sees us. Let me first say that these are some really good reasons. However, not once did he say that he wasn't attracted to her. Neither did he say that he didn't want to go to bed with her. And here is a very important lesson about temptation.

It is only a temptation if it's something that you want. 

(You can tweet that.)

It's a temptation because it's something that you actually desire, but it's either the wrong thing, the wrong time, the wrong way, or the wrong reason. And satan will use that thing...whatever it is...to derail you from the plan and purpose God has for your life. Let me give you that initial big idea again. 

         Temptation is Satan's invitation for you to abort God's purpose and plan for your life. 

So Joseph ran because it was getting harder and harder to resist the beauty and the advances of Mrs. Pinkett-Smith. I mean Mrs. Perry. Wait, I mean Mrs. Potiphar...P.O.T.I.P.H.A.R...POTIPHAR! It was hard for Joseph to fight the urge to give in to Mrs. Potiphar, so he ran. He was not willing to allow a few moments of pleasure to abort God's plan for his life.

  

My good friend Lincoln Smith used to always say, "If you can't stand like Jesus, you better run like Joseph." And without saying too much let's just say, I'm glad I've always been very athletic. I ran cross country in high school. And despite the challenges of college, I ran fairly regularly to stay in shape. And in 2011, I ran the Pittsburgh Marathon (all 26.1 miles of it without stopping) in 3 hours 55 minutes and 55 seconds. I was just thinking this morning that I need to lace up my running shoes. Running is good for your health (and your future). It's hard to keep running. Sometimes I get lazy, but I don't want to look at myself one day and think...what happened? Maybe I ought to grab my shoes right now. I gotta make sure I stay in shape.

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Timing is Everything

As I mentioned in my last post here on 4G, I had recently been drawn in again to the story of the life of Joseph. We were reading it as a family and we just finally finished it. I have never looked at his life so thoroughly and perceptively.  This time I think I've learned enough from Joseph to write an entire book about it...maybe one day. ;-)

Over my next few posts I'll be sharing some of the lessons I've learned from Joseph.  Here's the first and probably most important: Timing is everything!

If you're anything like me you hate waiting. I am about as impatient as they come. I hate standing in long lines. Whether it's at the grocery store, a church potluck, or at the DMV, I hate lines. I always park near the garden section at Wal-Mart because there's never a line at the garden section. And they can weigh your fruits and veggies just like they do in the express lane. In and out. No lines. No waiting. Problem is I often approach the more weightier matters of my life in the same manner; trying to find the quickest and easiest way out. In life though, there is often no easy way out. And there may not be a line, but by some strange set of circumstances, you will still end up having to wait.

When you look at Joseph's life, at each of the major stages, there was a waiting period. When was just a teenager and received those dreams from God, that was an invitation to wait to see what the Lord was going to do in his life. But like the clueless little teen, he brags and blabs about it to his brothers (who already despise him for his father's favoritism). This is what landed him in a pit. There's a lesson there somewhere. When he goes to Potiphar's house he must wait and endure the injustice of slave life even though his father is a rich nobleman. Then, in prison, he must wait more than two years after Pharoah's taste-tester even remembers that he owes Joseph a favor. And even in the palace, the seven year of plenty and the seven years of famine are a waiting game in their own right.

Timing is everything though. See at every juncture he must wait. But at every juncture God's timing is impeccable. When Joseph is thrown into that pit what were the odds that a caravan of merchants would be passing by on that very same day, at that very hour? And I'm not sure how long he had been working for Potiphar, but isn't it ironic that he goes to prison at the same time as the very guys who would be his ticket out?  Speaking of getting out, what if Pharoah's taste-tester had told him about Joseph as soon as he got out? Would they have remembered to ask for Joseph when Pharoah had his epic dreams two years later? Would Joseph have even stayed in Egypt that long?

To me it's all very clear albeit painful. And here's a lesson that's closely related: God is in control! God had Joseph's life perfectly planned out to the very minute of each major event. Now does that mean God was the source of his pain? Absolutely not, but God saw it, and worked it into His plan for Joseph's process to the palace. He took the pain, added some pieces to it, and made it a present to be unwrapped at the perfect time. Although it makes God hurt to see us hurt He knows how to use our painful experiences to benefit us and bless others. But He won't take us out of the pit, or prison, or any other oven of painful circumstance until the moment when He knows that we're ready and it's the right time. And as the old folks always say, "He may not come when you want Him, but He's right on time." And that's because He knows that timing is everything.

"Wait on the Lord. Be of good courage. Wait I say on the Lord."

Happy Birthday!

By Akua Boateng

Birthdays are perfect times reflection
and evaluation. Are you still growing?

Today I look back on the years that I have been privileged to live. As I think of the many decisions that I have made both good and bad…I must declare that life has been good. As I grow chronologically and physically, I have to ask myself, "Have I grown emotionally and spiritually in the same or greater measure?" After all, since the day I was born, I have developed exponentially in stature, autonomy and capacity. I've read, wrote, computed, created and have been degreed. But is there something I might have missed? 

When I was a child, I was open to the world and its wonder. I trusted openly and connected authentically. As I grew, I was faithfully committed to the possibility of the future and thought of it as an adventure park waiting to be explored and conquered by me. I spoke my mind and was comfortable within my own skin. I knew I was an irreplaceable gift to the world. I was committed to my internal and external growth. 

Today, I take a glance back and ask myself, "Has the openness, trust, wonder and commitment to the possibilities of my destiny grown? Or have I just grown physically and left this part of me behind? Do I still try to master things within, and conquer obstacles set before me?"

We are bigger, stronger and older…but are we enriching the template of internal growth that God initially placed within us? 

Grow! From the top of your head to the tips your toes. 

Grow! From your brain capacity and depth to the imagination that expresses the complexity of it. 

Grow! From the playground to the boardroom.

Grow. All of you. 

After all…that kid inside of you may have been right…you're an irreplaceable gift to the world! 

Happy Birthday...




A therapist by profession, Akua Opoku-Boateng provides career and life coaching to teens and young adults. Yesterday, Akua celebrated her ??th birthday! You can follow her on twitter @kweeOlogy and maybe she'll tell you exactly how young she is. Be sure to subscribe to get the latest updates from Akua and the other Growth Specialists in  The Growth Network.  

Dreamers and Detractors

I have always been fascinated by the life of Joseph.  As of late, I have been drawn in by the drama once again. I am really intrigued by his resilience and also his giftedness. This time, we're reading the story of Joseph as a part of our family worship. It was yesterday morning that this particular portion arrested my attention. It's only two verses, but I think they represent a magnanimous moment in the life of this young prodigy.

"Here comes that dreamer!" they said to each other. "Come now, let's kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we'll see what comes of his dreams." 

-Gen. 37:19-20 NIV

What's so deep and ironic about this moment is that their reasoning and intentions are clear. Their plan is to completely cancel the dreams and the life of the dreamer.  Anyone who has read the story knows that their plan is ultimately thwarted, but what's amazing is that the exact opposite of what they wanted and intended is actually what happens.  There is a wild and turbulent ride ahead for Joseph, but ultimately their demotion was actually a promotion.

Herein lies a very deep life lesson...a growth spurt, if you like. There are many times in life that detractors and haters will seek to hurt you with their words and their actions toward you.  Painful as it may be to end up in a pit, it actually has the potential to turn into a promotion.  Pain positions us for purpose.  And so as Joseph said, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good..." (Gen. 50:20).

Can you endure the scrutiny of your detractors, the embarrassment of a demotion, and the pain that comes from abuse? If you can, your dream might be closer than you think. You just wait, your setback might be a set-up for a comeback.

The Tornadoes…Within

By Akua Boateng

I am from California. Born and raised. So when I moved to Alabama I was amazed by tornadoes. I still remember my first one. I was extremely vigilant and terrified listening to the weather updates from underneath my storm approved hiding place.

As the catastrophic winds would blow, destroying the once inhabited places, I could never imagine getting “used to this.”

Unlike me, the native southerners often would have storm kits and action plans prepared for the season that came annually. For they had already experienced so many tornadoes in the past they knew what to do.  They had experienced this scary and emotionally stunning time before and now had grown to anticipate it.

Many of us have experienced (or are experiencing) tornadoes...within. Whether it is paralyzing uncertainty about the future, unrelenting thoughts from the past or frustrating confusion about the present, these internal emotional tornadoes seek to destroy whatever is established in its path. However, those who have an “emotional storm kit” and shelter for safety prepared often come out without as much damage.

Likened to a tornado storm kit, your emotional storm kit needs to include these 3 key essentials:

1. Non-perishables- Hope, Laughter and Past Survival Recollection
2. Flashlight – Spiritual Connection and Guidance
3. Radio – only authorized, beneficial, spiritual counsel to help you through internal crisis  (friends/family)

Emotionally growing people anticipate the tornadoes within that come with the growth process. However, they continue to thrive and progress after the storm because they had prepared themselves to adapt to the difficult life changes. Although they experience damage sometimes (we all do), a minor repair compared to rebuilding is the contrast. Are you prepared?

  Akua Opoku-Boateng is a clinical therapist turned youth career coach in Northeast Alabama. She has a passion for seeing individuals experience emotional growth & restoration. Read her full bio here. Otherwise, follow her on Twitter@kweeOlogy, and be sure to look for more of her posts on emotional growth regularly here on The Growth Network blog.

Learning From A Real Winner

Over the past few months we've written quite a bit about trauma, grief, and the process of coping and healing from such experiences. We talked quite a bit about J.R. Martinez and the process of healing he went through--both physical, and emotional after his traumatic injury while serving in Iraq. I wrote about about him here...and here, and I promised that there was an article soon to come in Message Magazine. Well the article was released in the current issue of Message so you can click to view it on  the Message Magazine website. There is also bonus video of my interview with him, so hopefully that will become available soon on the website as well. After talking to him I had this deep feeling that this dude deserves to be famous. He has a winning spirit and he deeply encouraged me. Just check the article and see for yourself.

Me with J.R. Martinez and his media manager after
we sat down for the interview. Photo by Troy Bogar.  

In Memory of the Late Great Jarret Wade

Jarret's last 6 months is a reminder of how precious life is. Not only that, but the perspective and resolve  that the good life requires. Learn some lessons from a young brother who lived life a short, yet full life.

Read about his journey here: http://survivingcancersoon.wordpress.com/

Ingredients for Growth

By Akua Boateng, M.S.

I love peace lilies. They're lush, green, and they flourish rapidly. When placed in your space they provide a sense of beauty and tranquility. These as well as other plants often remind me of our emotional growth. Growth indicates the development of something from a lower or simpler to a higher or more complex form. Everybody wants to grow, to be their “best self” or even to achieve some type of emotional “centeredness.” This may describe you. I believe that in any growth process there are some essential ingredients to begin the development. The 3 essentials are these:

  

1. Environment for Expansion  

Every plant needs space to expand and grow.
Ensure that your environment allows that space. 

One of my peace lilies began growing rapidly and looked amazing. I was amazed and excited believing that it was my awesome green thumb. Then suddenly it began to die, and I could not understand why. I was watering it and caring for it in the same way. I found that the reason it was not growing was because it lacked the space needed for its expansion. To grow emotionally, we need the right environment.  The space that once assisted in your expansion may need to be altered and revisited. Some of us need to choose bigger goals, better friends, or even new career strategies. You may not currently fit your new vision (space) however give yourself the space to grow into it.

2. Mistakes Equal Education

Mistakes help us to identify the areas where
we need pruning and new growth. 

Mistakes are essential in the growth process in order to constantly build upon our personal knowledge base. Innovation comes from learning to be wrong in order to find clarity. We learn from bad relationships, failed attempts at reaching a goal, or the consequences of never trying. Emotional healthy individuals learn from their mistakes and use them as education.

3. Aspiration Breeds Motivation

Dreams and aspirations help you
to see yourself as you intend to be.

The bible speaks of the idea of writing a vision. Aspirations help us to see ourselves in the future without qualifying evidence of its presence. We grow and expand our borders through dreaming the unimaginable. Knowledge that you are worthy of this is essential, and faith to believe beyond your current resources and abilities is key. Write down an aspiration for your future. Watch to see how you instinctively will rise to meet it. In your emotionally low times, this will be your motivation to keep moving forward.

As we embark on this journey of growth, I believe you will begin to see new opportunities for the new and greater in your life. These are essentials for growth broadly…next time we will dive into the emotional implications of these prerequisite steps. 

 Akua Opoku-Boateng is a clinical therapist  in Northeast Alabama. She has a passion for seeing individuals experience emotional restoration. Read her full bio here. Otherwise, follow her on Twitter @kweeOlogy, and be sure to look for more of her posts on emotional growth regularly here on The Growth Network blog.

Faith is God-Focus

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen.

                                                                     -Hebrews 11:1 KJV      

I love the Bible! It is so simple yet so deeply profound. It contains some of the most simple and practical proverbs for direct application to our lives. Nevertheless, it also provides some of the deepest, intellectually stimulating concepts. Here is one of those more stimulating concepts. This one is not simple. It is very nebulous and ethereal, yet very real and powerful nonetheless. 

I feel the need to try to bring this concept to life. So here are a a few simplified visuals of the text. 

What's inside the egg? A baby chicken right? Or at least the makings for what can/will become a baby chicken. Faith is accepting the reality of the chicken that is to come even though all that we can see is the hard shell of an egg.  There are those who see the glass as half-empty. They argue that the egg could be rotten, the chicken could be dead. It might never hatch. Things will never work out. Nothing ever works out for me. I always get the short end of the stick. Faith simply sees a healthy baby chicken.

Here's another example that I'm sure many of you can relate to directly. 

This is a picture of my wife at the doctor's office right after a routine check-up when she was about seven months pregnant with our son. While he was still in the womb, Christopher would respond to our voices, to our songs, and even when we touched his mommy's stomach. He would kick, push, and nudge back. Faith is the kicks and pushes that serve as evidence of what I cannot actually see.

There are those who worry, but what if the baby is sick? What if we lose him? He might have a birth defect. He might be deformed. Something bad might happen in the delivery room. The donators might make a mistake. Faith simply sees a beautiful, bouncing, baby boy. 

Faith is God-focus. It is a the determination to lock in on that baby chick even though all I have right now is an egg. It is the conviction that my son will be here anyway now event though I've never actually seen his face. it is focusing on God even though all of the facts, details, proof, information, logistics, resources, and strategies are already in place.

So here's the million dollar question: Where is your focus? Is it on what you can't see, or is it on your God? Is it on your problems or your God. Is it on the need or is it on The Provider. Determine in your mind that you will focus on God and His promises rather than your problems and present circumstances.

The Five Stages of Grief

Joe Williams is a Certified Staff Chaplain with
Community Hospice Inc. in Modesto, CA.

I am proud and excited to introduce the newest member The Growth Network family- Chaplain Joe Williams. Joe is a graduate of Oakwood University and Andrews University with a Masters of Divinity. He has received extensive Clinical Pastoral training and now serves as a Certified Staff Chaplain for Community Hospice Inc. in Modesto, California. You can visit his website at www.chaplainjdub.com. The following (I'm sure) is the first of many posts from this gifted growth specialist. Enjoy, and be sure to give us your feedback. 

A friend of mine died from the flu after being sent home from the Emergency Room the day before. My immediate reaction was not spiritual, holy or righteous. I was angry and numb. I couldn’t sleep; concentrate or sit still. I was afraid of sleeping because if it could happen to them, then surely it could happen to me.  Death has a way of taking away our (better yet my) superhero complex. When Optimus Prime was killed in Transformers II: Revenge of the Fallen, my mortality came to the surface and my goose bumps gave way to tears. If my favorite hero can die, then what does that say about the rest of us terrestrial creatures on planet earth?

Grief has a psychosomatic reaction and it’s inherent to us human beings. When something hurts us emotionally, our bodies react. Some people cry, some people acquiesce and some people faint. I will give you a disclaimer: I am a “man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” I am around it everyday. I cannot hide from it if I wanted to. I am fascinated by death. The study of death is called “thanotology.” I’m sure you remember “Thanos” from the comic books. Studying death academically doesn’t prepare one to face it in real life. My education about death started before I had consciousness. I was two years old when my mother was killed. Like the poet Langston Hughes writes, “Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.” Not that I need to prove myself or show my “street cred”, but I know what grief looks like, feels like, and even tastes like. There is a proverbial curve to it. However, I must tell you that grief and its reactions are normal, human and healthy.  

Like I said, I am a man of sorrows personally and also professionally. I am a hospice chaplain. I work with patients who aren’t going to recover, get better or find a cure. My patients are in what we call, “the land of the dying.” So my understanding of death, dying and grief is visceral. I have an academic and theoretical knowledge, but that is only ten percent of my knowledge base. Ninety percent of my knowledge base about sickness, death, dying and loss comes from my patients and families. They’re my teachers, and I learn about them, but I also learn about myself. I wish there was no need for hospice, but since people are born into this world, and most (if not all) are going to die, we are their companions during their last journey.

Stage 1 - Denial normally
corresponds with shock & disbelief.

            One doctor, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross set out to let patients be the teachers and experts, kind of like in the movie “Patch Adams” starring Robin Williams, where he got to know the patients personally. Health care is very scientifically and disease focused, but, as one hospital put it, “we do not treat diseases, we treat people.” Instead of observing them, she and other medical students interviewed them. The dying themselves are primary sources instead of secondary sources. For those of you who took English Composition, you know the difference. Through personal interviews, a Grief Curve resulted in stages of grief. The first stage is denial.

Stage 2 - Anger flows as an expression
of overwhelming negative emotions. 

            For me, denial is a strong emotion. It protects us from the full weight of the sadness. For those of who have continued to read this far into the article, you trust my words. Let me tell you, it is healthy to experience the entire range of human emotion. They are healthy, human and normal. So often times, nurses and doctors would call, albeit in the middle of the night, for a “demonstrably emotive family member.” During my internship a doctor called me, while I was on my way to church, because a young man was asked to make a decision about disconnecting his mother from a ventilator: a machine that breathes for a patient. The young man was experiencing what we call anticipatory grief. He collapsed on my shoulders and said, “I’m not in the place of God. I don’t want to kill mom.” He was in denial, which obviously gave way to (the second stage) anger. When the doctors saw the denial and anger, they called me.

Stage 2 - Bargaining is usually
is expressed toward God. 

            After the young man collapsed in my arms, he began (the third stage) bargaining, with tears and cursing. “Please God, don’t take mama. I will do better. Please! Please! Chaplain please pray that He don’t take her.” He then went into a shell and didn’t talk to anyone. Ross would call this the (fourth) stage of depression, which ultimately gave way to (the fifth stage) acceptance. I then went through an ethical decision making process with the young man, and his family discussing the patient’s wishes.  Patients and family members experience this curve because sickness affects everyone. I told them, “A decision made in love is never the wrong decision.”

Stage 4 - Depression is a refusal to
participate as a response to pain.

I will tell you a secret, many times when my staff calls me, it isn’t because of the patient or family’s emotion but because of their own. They are experiencing what we call vicarious or secondary trauma. Its like when you watch Law and Order: Special Victim’s Unit or Criminal Minds, you experience the emotions of the characters in the television show, indirectly. We are like sponges to our environment sometimes, and we experience sadness too. In my own life, I have faced this grief curve and its feels like a curve ball sometime. My mother, brother, cousins, adoptive parents, classmates had died and in a way, they abandoned me. Emotionally, that’s how we feel sometimes. Depending upon our relationship intensity, my reactions will fluctuate. We had BBQ’s, conversations, family outings and emotional bonds result. When they die, my emotions feel “left out in the cold. They aren’t always pretty, neat and tidy. Grief isn’t like a light switch that is turned on when the patient is dying, but grief comes in waves and curves. It will overwhelm you at times, but you are a normal person having a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. We can’t hide from ourselves, but we can deal with our hurts and losses in healthy ways. It is my hope that you find a safe place for your grief, so you can find healing for your soul. 

Stage 5 - Acceptance is acknowledging one's inability to change
the circumstances and resolving to move on with life.